Snakes Alive!

March 27, 2020

To me the best part of a turkey hunt has always been the long walk between daylight and dark. There is an adventure ahead of you, where or when is anybody's guess. Maybe right over there in that long string of cottonwoods lining the creek where the night before a whole drove flew up to roost, hens clucking, gobblers gobbling, marking the evening's first coyote opening up way out yonder.

This guy, you may or may not have known a long time, squats in the dirt in front of the pickup with a short stick in his right hand, his truck keys in his left and begins to draw a map in the dirt with a flashlight gripped in his teeth to make things "perfectly clear".

"Right here", he says, making the first line in dirt the texture of flour and the color of ocher, "is the creek, where the turkeys is 'bout three hunnert yards yonder. There's a small herd of Angus using the pasture between us and the creek, and its got a bad bull in it, but he's old and kinda' slow. Don't worry 'bout him, it's the damn snakes out in that pasture you'll wanta' think about. Step light. You got snake boots on?"

"Do I need 'em?"

He doesn't answer, just changes the subject.

"After you get across the pasture, you'll be right up to the creek bottom. Them turkeys are 'bout four hunnert yards south of where you'll hit the creek. Gobbled their fool heads off at dark when I left last night. But you make it that far, you really gotta' be careful."

"What now?"

That creek is workin' alive with cottonmouths all night long 'til daylight, and you ain't got no boots, right?"

"I gotta' flashlight."

My friend cleared his throat slightly, and quietly, so as not to awaken the turkeys on the roost. Way off yonder, six or seven hundred yards away, one gobbled anyway. Geez.

"You get down in that creek and start shine'n that light around and you're gonna' run those turkeys clear inta' Texas. Just be careful.

"Your birds are down that creek and you can chase 'em three miles without gettin' in No Man's Land. You get there, you'll see the fence. Don't cross it. He's one mean son of a bitch, and he'll shoot at you. He's old, though. I can go north about the same distance. You got water?"

"Yep. And a baloney sandwich."

"Hell, you're set. Wish you had some boots. See ya' at dark, right here."

"Maybe."

I never can remember the date for St. Patrick's Day, but I remember the cause of its celebration. That was the day St. Patrick ran the snakes out of Ireland. That's what they say. I say St. Patrick never came to Oklahoma during turkey season. I do know the date for the emergence of snakes from hibernation in Oklahoma. A day or two either side, mark April 15 on your calendar and you've nailed it.

In my years chasing these grand birds, I've had some close calls with snakes and other surprises to boot, no pun intended. We'll talk about them some time. Dealer's choice. Turn that flashlight off.