Still Alive, Susie

 

I am still alive. Recent events, more particularly a phone call from an old friend, have made me think it necessary to make the pronouncement.

Susie and I hadn't talked in a good five years. The bumper sticker says, "stuff" happens. And so it does. End of explanation. We have loved each other for years but, so it goes.

On the phone she said a friend of hers had read my column about the Great Creek County Fire of 2012 and determined that Pam and I had lost our home, and who knows what else. We didn't. It was my fault in writing the ending to that column the way I did, that apparently made it seem as if we had met with disaster.

You may remember: A miracle rain cloud appeared, doused the fire line, and was immediately followed by a hard, north wind that drove the fire back upon itself right before it leaped Coyote trail and angled towards our neighborhood. I ended the piece with only that news. We were spared, but the reader didn't get that out of the story. That was my fault.

I left some other things (no participles, Mrs. Beck) dangling. We know that Leon Mears lost everything except his life. He even lost his dog, the brave little Jack Russell terrier that dove into the brush pile behind Leon's house just as the fire swarmed the house causing Leon to flee for his life. He called the dog several times. It would not come. One more thing gone. You got that, right?

But what about Leon's guns? The ones locked safely away in the fireproof gun safe? Many of you have asked me about them, and their condition. Many of you have fireproof safes of your own protecting your guns. You're interested in the subject, right? Me, too.

What we know about fireproof gun safes is only what their builder tells us. Nearly every brand carries the same, or similar, claim: "We guarantee the contents of this safe for one-half hour at 1400 hundred degrees." Really? How do they know that? And guarantee the contents to what extent?

Ask that question, and they will tell you that they have conducted "tests". But what kind of test would accurately replicate an actual, total house fire? Did they really put their gun safe in the middle of a house, and then burn the whole house down around it? Pretty expensive test. Probably didn't happen.

I talked to Leon earlier today on the cell. Enquiring minds want to know.

"Leon, Where's your gun safe?"

"I scrapped it."

"Did the combination work?"

"Nope. I guess the tumblers were plastic or something. "How'd you get into it?"

"Had to cut into it with a grinder. Went through the side. Metal's not very thick there."

"Well? What'd you find?"

"My guns were basically cooked, fried, toasted, baked. The wooden stocks were just... well, toasted is all I can say. They're not very pretty. Their finish is gone. All the plastic spacers between the stock and butt, that decorative piece they put on the pistol grip, all of that plastic stuff was gone, melted completely off. The bluing was scorched off all of the barrels, all over covered with soot. All of the wooden, felt-covered barrel rests lining the safe were burned up.

"I had one gun, a Thompson Center muzzleloader with a composite stock, the stock on it wasn't damaged. The barrel was like all the rest."

"So," I asked, "what are you gonna' do with 'em?"

"Well, I'm not going to throw them away. It'll take a lot of work, but I'm gonna' try to re-finish the wooden ones; look around for spacers and stuff; maybe try to re-blue 'em."

"But I worry about the ones with internal springs and stuff. You know, those springs are heat treated. I don't know if the heat from the fire would cause them to lose their temper or not. I'll just have to see."

So, there you have it: Leon is still alive, too. And so will his guns be, with lots of work and care. His grandkids will appreciate that someday and remember how Grandpa saved the family guns from the Great Creek County Fire of 2012.

That's it, Susie. We're still alive out here on Baker's Branch. Just so you'd know.

Copyright © 2012 Conrad M. Vollertsen